I've been thinking about “just one score”. My reasoning is to make sure the opiate blocker works. I'll chase a bag and I'll feel nought and that's that. It's not a constant thought, just crosses my mind on occasion. I accept my reasoning has no logic. If I never take heroin again then it won't matter if the blocker works.
I set my mind this morning as I stepped out of the shower. I'll never score again. Never. Ever. Ever. And I'll make the same decision every time I have to. I'm approaching four weeks clean time, why the fuck would I score? This is my future and I've decided. No more. Never. Ever. Ever.
